My Story: What is the Purpose Behind My Pain?
Scripture is very clear on what the ultimate purpose of man is, and at first I found it a little difficult to see how that purpose could be fulfilled in a baby who never actually walked the earth. But now, knowing just some basics about the human soul helps me to see how my little babies have the same purpose that you and I have: to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
Most trustworthy biblical scholars agree that a baby, at conception, is given a body and a soul. The soul, or spirit, is what lives on eternally after death and is given a glorified body. We have already discovered that when an infant dies, it is instant heaven for their soul. So what does that soul do for all of eternity? He or she worships God and brings Him alone glory! I know you are probably thinking to yourself, “You are saying to me that God would create a life, and cut that life short, only so that soul can bring Him glory?” Yes I am!
You see, God did not need to create man. The Father, the Son and the Spirit enjoyed perfect love and unity before the creation of the world. The reason God created the universe and ultimately man is for His glory only (Isaiah 43:7). You are probably thinking that sounds awfully prideful. It sounds that way to us because we are thinking only of ourselves. If we created something or did something only to bring ourselves glory, it would be terribly prideful. And we know pride to be sin. It is sin, only because we are robbing the One who is greater than us of His glory. But who is greater than God himself? No one. No one deserves the glory that God does. He alone is worthy “to receive power and riches and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing” (Revelation 5:12).
The fact that our purpose is to bring God glory forever is a guarantee of our significance in life. It guarantees that our baby’s life was and is signifcant to God as well. In fact, we (our babies included) are significant to God for all of eternity! To be in His presence for all of eternity is a greater blessing than any of us can imagine, for “ in [His] presence is fullness of joy; in [His] right hand are pleasures forever”. What an awesome, comforting truth this is to me, and I pray it is to you as well.
The Bible is very clear that each person is created for a unique purpose, complete with unique talents, gifts and qualities. To the prophet Jeremiah God said, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1:4-5). John MacArthur states, “Jeremiah was a person, known fully by the Lord, formed individually by God, and set apart by God for His purposes.” King David says in Psalm 139:16, “Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.” There are many other examples in scripture of God laying out a plan and purpose for each person He creates. You might think to yourself that these are all special cases. Yes, indeed they are, but you and your baby are special as well in God’s eyes. God knows you and he knows your baby intimately. In fact, one could say God knew you and knew your baby intimately, before you or he was ever created! His purpose for your child has been “fulfilled perfectly” as John MacArthur would say, even in death. I know this is hard to swallow and believe. But if you will trust God’s purposes and plan, you’ll find much comfort in being a part of a grander plan than just your own.
In Matthew 19:14, Jesus says, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus cared deeply for the little ones. The parallel verse in the gospel of Mark even uses the word “infants”. Jesus himself says that the kingdom of heaven is filled with these little ones. One of the purposes that our babies fulfill is to inhabit the kingdom - to dwell there, to worship there, to play there, to bring joy and honor and glory to their Creator. Though it is the most difficult, painful experience to lose one of your children to miscarriage, you can take joy that God would choose one or more of your children to be heaven-dwellers . . . to populate His paradise.