After my first miscarriage, like I mentioned before, we had a revival at our small town country church where Jon was pastoring. Jon’s father, Tom Elliff, was the featured speaker, so both of his parents came to town the week following my miscarriage and D & C. I, of course, was heartbroken and distressed, and my mother-in-love could see that in me. She had been praying faithfully with us and for us for the years prior to the pregnancy. She knew of our strong desire to become parents and that was her desire for us. At some point that week, we were riding in the back of the car together and she shared a verse with me that the Lord had given her to comfort me with. Romans 12:12 says, “rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” This was the best encouragement anyone could have given me that day. Those three commandments sunk into my brain and my soul and carried me through those first tough days and weeks. I was so thankful to have such a godly Mother-in-law who thought enough about me to encourage me with not just her words, but the Word of God as well.
I share this with you so you will know how to best comfort others when they encounter the pain of miscarriage. Some people choose to ignore, or they might not have the words to say to someone who is hurting. In my opinion, promises or even directives from scripture are the most helpful and encouraging.
Just a simple word from the Bible can bring powerful healing and strength to the one that is suffering. I would encourage you to seek out those you know who are hurting from the pain of miscarriage, and offer them the hope that is found in Christ alone.
When I came out of the operating room after my first D & C, the first words out of my mouth were, “I’m ready to try again!” Those words might have been the result of the anesthesia, but most likely, it was the result of God placing the desire to have children in my heart, even after going through such a painful experience.
After the fifth miscarriage, I truly thought that was how my reproductive years would end - in the same way they had begun, with a missed abortion. But the Lord had a different plan, indeed. At a time in our family life that was full of other difficulties, not related to child-bearing, God blessed me with yet another soul, another baby to carry. Yes, my heart wondered if this child too would be miscarried. I wondered if I might die as the doctors said my uterus was at high-risk for rupturing. But, through all of those thoughts, I had peace. I knew God held me and my baby in the palm of His hand. Those first few months of 2010 were filled with hope - hope in Christ and His faithfulness. Jon and I prayed for this, our tenth child, and the Lord chose to give us a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy. On October 20, 2010, Molly Bishop Elliff was born via my fifth c-section in Honolulu, Hawaii with no complications whatsoever. We praise the Lord for her life, just as we praise the Lord for the lives of our other nine children!
I truly believe that each child, whether miscarried or not, is a blessing and a gift from God. If you never are able to carry a baby to full term, as I know so many women experience, you are not “less” blessed than any other mom. You are, and will be, a mom for eternity. This life here on earth is a vapor. It is fleeting and fast over. You have a family, and it is in heaven which will last for all of eternity!
In one of Charles Spurgeon’s sermons, he addresses the fact that those babies who die in infancy are among the most blessed. He says that child is “supremely blessed, has escaped from sin, and care, and woe, and with the Savior rests.” Babies that die in infancy truly do escape the woes of living in this fallen world. They are resting safe with their Savior, with their Creator, with the One who upholds all things. Your babies and mine were created for and currently are “populating paradise”, and in that we can be comforted and extremely grateful to God.
My Father in Heaven,
I pray for all of those who would read my story in the coming days. Bless them Father, for I know that you have every resource available to you in heaven and on earth. If they have miscarried a child, give them comfort and peace from knowing your purpose. While we cannot know all of your plans and purposes, we do know what you have revealed in your Word, and we take great comfort in that. Thank you for making salvation from sin available to us, so we might be able to be in your presence forever, just like our sweet babes.
If there are those who are reading this with the purpose of understanding miscarriage, please give them the knowledge they need in order to minister to those who are hurting from their loss of a child.
Father, bless all those who read with a greater sense of who You are, what Your plan is for them, and why You allow such trials into our lives.
In Jesus’ Name and through His blood,