My Story: When Will My Pain End?
Through all of my five miscarriages, I would get over the immediate emotion that was so overwhelming. But even now, years later, I still have heartache. I still have pain. It is still so real to me. Writing this blog has been therapeutic for me, but even with that, I have relived all of the death, the pain and the grief. Will my heart ever be healed? Will my spirit ever be unburdened by this pain? Is there hope for my future?
While we have the hope that Satan will be punished forever for the evil that he is responsible for, we can also have hope that our hearts will be completely and forever healed. In Psalm 34:18-19, David states, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all”. In Revelation 7:17, we see that “God will wipe ever tear from [our] eyes”. In Psalm 147:3 we see that “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. In Matthew 5:4 we see that “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted”. In Revelation 21:4 we see that “He will wipe away every tear from [our] eyes, and there will no longer be any death, there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away”. What are the “first things”? Remember what happened in the beginning? Sin, death and pain entered the world. In heaven, those “first things” will have no power, no hold and no place. The deliverance you long for may not be in this life, but when we die and are in the Lord’s presence, you can rest assured in the fact that your heart will be completely healed of all of the pain from your affliction.
There are days that my heart just plain hurts. That is where you may find yourself today. On days like that, looking to these passages is one of the greatest helps you can find. While everyone else goes on in their “normal” lives, your heart is yearning and longing for a different day, a different life, a different home. Your heart longs for heaven, because you know that all of this pain will be gone, your heart will be forever healed, and you will be reunited with your heavenly family. My girls remind me almost daily of this fact. They know about our 5 "glory" babies, and they talk about them all the time. In fact, they are almost offended if I say I only have 5 children! They know we have 10, and they want me to tell others! My prayer is that knowing they have these siblings in heaven will place in them an extra desire to follow and trust Jesus with their whole being, so they can be reunited again!